BAD WEDDING ADVICE is truly a thing! I’ve heard many stories of “I wish I didn’t’s” or “I shouldn’t have listen to’s” and many other elements that ended up not being enjoyable for the bride.

After reading numerous articles and being at a few weddings these last couple seasons, I’ve come to the conclusion that old traditions are no longer rules or guidelines you absolutely must adhere during wedding planning and on your wedding day.

In essence, plan everything however you want it to be! Don’t get too entirely wrapped up in what your family or guests might want. Your wedding to be should be dependent on you because it is your day and all of your invited family and friends should understand and accept it. If they are on your guest list, chances are they know you well and therefore should see that all the decisions, additions, subtractions, and tweaks you’ve are totally subjective, custom, and make sense to you and your taste/personality. Always remember, the focus of your wedding journey should be on you and your soon-to-be-spouse, not your guests 🙂

Below is a list of some “BAD WEDDING ADVICE” I’ve pulled together. This advice stems from numerous mothers, aunts, and wedding planners:

  1. Stick to tradition
    • It’s totally okay NOT to want something blue, a crisp white dresses, to feed each other cake, the list goes on.
    • I’m actually not doing a single one of those things listed above! I’m not wearing anything blue and my dress is ivory.
    • Don’t stick to tradition if you know you’re going to regret it.
  2. You need a big lavish cake
    • Hi, no you don’t.
    • I’m not having a big cake at my own wedding. We’re going with a small cutting cake and tons of desserts. I personally think the cake as a focal point is dated. I’m a total advocate for having numerous desserts at your wedding. A variety of options are more fun anyway.
    • Cakes are extremely expensive! If you want a big cake, a way to cut costs is to have whatever tier you cut be real, and the rest with a styrofoam base. You’d then have a big regular sheet cake (way cheaper) in the back for servers to bring out.
  3. Use your married friends’/families’ vendors
    • You might have that one family member or friend who is pushy and forceful with suggestions. Take and accept all recommendations, but ultimately choose what vendors you want.
    • If there is a individual or individuals who are adding stress to your planning and trying to plan things for you, pull them aside and kindly express how you feel. It’s always best to inform them rather than let them run your planning and them be disappointed or critical come day of if their vision isn’t executed.
  4. The hen night needs to be the last event and right before the wedding
    • You all should decide collectively on when it should be based on everyone’s schedules/finances. Of course the bride should give the suggestions and the final say, but let it be a group effort! After all, don’t be a mean bossy bridezilla because your girls are spending lots of money and taking work off to celebrate all your events with you!
    • I’m having my hen do in May and my shower as the last event in June
    • You don’t need to stick to the strict timeline of events. Do things whenever and however you want!
  5. Don’t waste money on a wedding planner
    • My planner did cost a hefty amount HOWEVER I don’t regret one penny of it. Everything that’s been done and the vision she and I both have for my special day, I would’ve never been able to gather all these things myself.
    • One thing I did realize is that wedding planning is a WHOLE different ball game. Like, girlfriend. I have an amazing wedding planner and I’m still stressed and spending hours a day doing things!
  6. Your look and decor is more important than your food
    • Oh no, no, no! People always remember three things from weddings: food, music, and photographs. Food is SOOOOO important. How many times have you been to a wedding and been critical of or praised the food? Or when you look back to a wedding and their bad food is the first thing you recall? DO NOT try to cut corners with your food. Yes, food is one of the priciest items on your wedding budget menu, but nothing ruins a wedding more than bad, cold, or bland food. You’re pretty much setting the tone for the rest of the reception ceremony with your dinner food!
  7. You need to give your guests wedding favors/gifts
    • Lots of weddings are starting to ditch party favors. Instead, they’ll include self-serve candy bars or photo booths they’ll consider as your parting gift.
    • When couples give you soap, paper weights, or random things, most of the time they’re tossed as soon the guest gets home. When you’re buying these in bulk, the gifts come out to like £3-4 a person which isn’t a lot but at the same time, if you’re giving random items, I just see it throwing money away because that’s essentially what your guests are doing with it.
    • If you want to give your guest something, make the consideration that the gift be practical. If you can’t think of anything, nix the idea altogether! It’s honestly not a big detail guests pay attention to anymore. Allocate the money towards something else like more booze. Everyone always loves more booze.
  8. You need to have your wedding during ‘peak wedding season’
    • You totally don’t! A huge upside to this is that is it much cheaper during ‘off season’. I think there was a £2,000 difference between season and off season in my venue alone!
    • Too, you get to beat the heat. We planned to have ours in July because it’d fit our timeline of events (that we’d hope will occur) coming up. We would’ve totally had it later or earlier in the year if the timeline was in favor of those months too!
    • Peak season months vary by venue. Some venues don’t even provide off season prices; but it’s still good to double check and consider when venue shopping!
    • Typical peak season months: April, May, June, July, August, September
    • Typical off season months: October, November, December, January, February, March
  9. Buy your veil from the bridal boutique you purchased your dress from (or any physical retail store)
    • Oh my goodness. They quoted me £400 for their cathedral veil. £400!! For a piece of tool I’d only wear for at most 2 hours? No thank you! I bought literally an identical one on Etsy for £43. You don’t need to go to a bridal boutique to purchase your veil. They totally up-mark the price. I suggest browsing online first. I didn’t look anywhere else other than Etsy, but I’m sure there’s plenty of websites with cheaper priced veils available!
    • I bought my veil online. I haven’t gotten it yet but I’ll of course show you guys in my story once it arrives.